Thursday, March 12, 2009

Women Spanking Men - Giving Him His First Spanking!

 

Women Spanking Men - Giving Him His First Spanking!

Posted By  Sir. Sexy Cruiser

You’re a woman, and you’ve never spanked a man before but would like to. What should you do?

In many ways, this is easier than wanting to be spanked yourself, because you can take a more active role. However, unless your man is already into receiving spankings, or unless your desires are satisfied by giving fairly mild spankings, you’ll probably want to talk to your partner about your desires sooner or later.

Start Slowly
Start Slowly

First, be clear about your desires. If you can’t get turned on except by giving a fairly severe spankings, you may well end up having to find someone who is already into being spanked. While most people can end up dealing with mild spankings, severe spanking is definitely not a taste that you can or should expect someone to acquire.

If you can be satisfied by giving playful, relatively mild spankings, however, there are still some issues to keep in mind.

First, before even thinking about the spanking, think about the emotional aspects. Never spank someone for a ‘real’ fault or mistake unless your relationship already has that aspect to it. Never suggest that your partner is submissive in any way, shape, or form, other than in taking a spanking, unless your relationship already has that aspect to it. Most importantly, learn and respect your partner’s preferences in dealing with a spanking; you’re already asking to do something different to your man; don’t push your man into bad emotional states at the same time!

Next, start slowly. The best ‘first swats’ is one that is given over some clothing as a teasing or playful gesture. This lets you measure your partner’s emotional reaction to spanking, and lets you decide if you want to press the issue. Be careful on those first few swats! A single spank that hits too hard might give your partner the idea that you’re into ‘pain’, not ’spanking’.

If your partner reacts well to these initial swats, you’ll want to bare his ass and try some more swats. If you do so, however, go slowly and be careful! Yes, it can be a bit embarrassing to admit that you would like to take your partner over your knee and administer a good spanking; it can be a lot worse to have to explain why you hurt him, either physically or emotionally.

In any case, patience is an absolute necessity. If your man isn’t ‘naturally’ into spanking, you have to make sure that every spanking you administer is a pleasant experience. Since the spanking itself my not be pleasant, make sure that your man always gets something pleasant out of the experience. This helps link your playful spankings to pleasure for your man, and will actually help your partner enjoy more and even harder spankings.

Work slowly, not just physically, but psychologically. If your partner ends up enjoying light spanks over his underwear, do not assume that your man will like the same ‘physical level’ of spanks on the bare bottom! There is little physical difference, but the psychological difference is immense.

Give Him A Treat After Spanking Him

When working on an uncertain person, spank fairly gently, and mix your hard spanks with softer ones, and with lots of rubbing and caresses. Even a person who doesn’t specifically like spankings might learn to enjoy a few hard swats to bring about a sting, followed by kisses and caresses for contrast.

Finally, and most importantly, let your man be your guide. Learn to read your partner for signs that say when you’re spanking too hard. Also learn to read your man for when you’ve actually gotten to the ‘right’ level of spanking! While your spankings may simply be something your partner ‘puts up with’ for the pleasure of being your lover, it’s even better if you both end up enjoying the spankings.

 

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Posted by Sir. Sexy Cruiser in 23:50:27 | Permalink | No Comments »

F/M Spanking - Controlling The Man During A Real Spanking

F/M Spanking - Controlling The Man During A Real Spanking

Posted By Sir. Sexy Cruiser

Not every man responds to f/m spankings in the same way. Some men take their f/m spankings very well. They automatically accept the fact that they are being spanked for their own good. They follow the woman’s instructions to the letter. They undress promptly and without complaint. They place themselves over the woman’s lap, presenting their bottoms obediently. When their f/m spanking starts, they do not squirm and struggle in a vain attempt to escape their spanking. Instead, they submit obediently to their spanking, despite the embarrassment and shame of the spanking they are receiving from the woman. At some stage of the spanking process, such men are brought to tears and begin to cry in a deep emotional release that cleanses their hearts and activates their naturally submission.

Real F/M Spankings, Bare Ass’d And Intense!

Men who take their f/m spankings well are usually characterized by the relative quietness with which they submit to their spankings. Not only do they not struggle nor attempt to block the woman as she spanks their bottom, but they also submit to their spanking without making a lot of noise, apart from the inevitable tears and sobbing that mark the beginning of the release process.

One of the worst forms of male misbehavior during a f/m spanking relates to the amount of noise made by the spanked man. This misbehavior is not related to whether he is crying or not. Some men naturally cry rather loudly, while others sob more quietly.

But some men hide their rebellion, their disrespect and their disobedience behind a hysterical kind of yelling or loud noise that they utter during discipline. They may wait until their tears start to flow before yelling, or their yells may begin long before their sobs. Such men may even think it is a “macho” form of resistance to the woman’s authority to yell when she spanks him. They think that, “She can spank me if she wants, but I am going to pay her back by yelling as if I am being murdered.!”

This yelling is more than just loud crying or sobbing. It is an active attempt on the man’s part to disrupt and undermine the spanking process. It is a form of active rebellion. It is a way for him to demonstrate his disrespect for his tops authority.

Yelling is a way for a man to enlist male help in an emergency situation. If a man is in a state of extreme danger, fright or risk, he will instinctively yell in order to attract potential rescuers to his aid. The piercing nature of a man’s yell will cut through many other types of noise, alerting people nearby that someone is in grave danger.

So when a man starts yelling without genuine reason during his discipline, he is creating a kind of false alarm. He is misusing his natural ability to yell in a loud voice when serious danger threatens him. He is attempting to use his woman’s protective instincts to discourage her from spanking him any further.

A man who yells during his punishment is creating a false sense of emergency. This is selfish, childish and wrong. There is no real emergency. The only thing that is happening is that the man is being spanked to tears for his own good. His woman is not trying to kill him. She is trying to help him - to enable him to have a cathartic emotional experience that will restore him to a more peaceful, loving and harmonious state of mind and heart.

Nonetheless, it is the woman’s responsibility to determine whether a genuine emergency does exist. She loves her man and cares for his welfare, so she will naturally not want him to come to serious harm. She should stop spanking him when he starts to yell. If his yelling stops, it is usually a good indication that his yells were disobedient, disrespectful and dishonest, rather than a sign of a real emergency. If he still keeps yelling, she can ask him what the problem is. If he continues to yell, she can administer a few short, sharp slaps to his bottom and address him in a much sterner tone. This will usually get his attention and return him to a more obedient state. Questioning him about his yelling is usually the fastest way to discover what the real problem is, if indeed there is any problem at all.

If this is the first time that the man has ever yelled during his f/m spanking, he can be warned once about the consequences of yelling when there is no valid emergency situation. Some women will let him off for a first offense, after ensuring that he has been clearly warned of what will happen the next time he yells without justification. It is important that this verbal warning be clearly stated and obviously understood by the man, since he will not be given a second chance.

As many other articles about F/M spankings have already emphasized, crying during discipline is a highly positive outcome for the man. Tears and sobbing are a natural part of the f/m spanking process. They enhance the man’s experience of his f/m spanking, producing a more effective emotional catharsis and enabling the man to achieve full emotional release.

Posted by Sir. Sexy Cruiser in 22:56:35 | Permalink | No Comments »

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Women are you wondering why your men has Aches and Pains all the time

Entry for  Mar 25, 1996 8:24 am on Playgirl’s SEXY_CRUISER Blog
Passion.com and Playgirl  8257467127 Views
Entry for March 17, 2006
Re-posted from passion.com blog

Fatal Consequences of Excessive Masturbation

Frequent masturbation and ejaculation stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions excessively, resulting in the over production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters such as acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin. Abundant and unusually amount of these hormones and neurotransmitters can cause the brain and adrenal glands to perform excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversion and turn the brain and body functions to be extremely sympathetic. In other words, there is a big change of body chemistry when one excessively pratices masturbation.
Note: Masturbation is a healthy sexual behavior. Like other behaviors, when over practiced or addicted it can lead to both psychological and physiological imbalances.


The side effects of such changes to the body include:
Fatigue. Feeling tired all the time
Lower back pain
Stress / Anxiety
Thinning hair / Hair Loss
Soft / Weak Erection
Premature Ejaculation
Eye floaters or fuzzy vision
Groin / Testicular Pain
Pain or cramp in the pelvic cavity or/and tail bone

If above symptoms are experienced, you need to restore the balance of brain’s acetylcholine / parasympathetic ratio, reduces the level of sex hormones in the body, and sedates sympathetic nervous function, or the symptoms would become worse.
Posted by Sir. Sexy Cruiser in 04:59:31 | Permalink | No Comments »

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Entry for January 30, 2006
“How can I introduce BDSM to my significant other?”

 

Entry for January 30, 2006

<  PlayGirl(SEXY_CRUISER) 57320752 Views

 
“How can I introduce BDSM to my significant other?”

 

A frequently asked question, and one I hesitate to answer honestly. However, I was just asked about this very issue times in two days, so I think it’s time to have some open discussion on the matter.

Sexual incompatibility within a long-termed relationship can be a serious source of unhappiness. It’s no secret that sexual problems have brought down many an otherwise reasonably solid relationship. Things can be especially difficult for the submissive or fetishist who doesn’t understand his or her need for kink until later on in life, sometimes years into a marriage. Because alternative sexuality is so taboo in our society, many people feel all alone with their fetishes and fantasies. By the time they learn that there were other people like them in the world of BDSM, they may have built their life around a vanilla relationship.

At this point, a person has 3 options: ignore the issue and continue a life of frustration, break up their relationship to find another, or find some way their current life could accommodate their sexual needs. In this last option the fledgling kinkster can either convert his or her partner, or find satisfaction outside the primary relationship, either in secret or with full consent of the significant other.

I have some idea what the politically-correct advice would be. Share your sexuality with your partner, make your vanilla relationship more satisfying. And I would venture a guess that the politically correct advice might also be that you shouldn’t be quite as kinky as you are, or that you should relegate the more serious stuff to fantasy. There’s kind of a double-standard when it comes to these things. If “normal” sexual desires are not met in a relationship it tends to be seen as a valid problem. But if alternative desires are not lived out, the burden is put on the kinkier partner to accept the situation.

I am going to go out on a limb here and give you the non-politically correct advice, because frankly, I don’t think that the politically correct advice is working. We have an enormous, international, BDSM/Fetish industry based on satisfying kinks that people are not getting at home. The need for kink does not seem to be taken seriously by society at large outside of the adult industry. At best, it’s treated like a laughable sexual quirk, when really, it’s more of a sexual orientation. Sex workers do not have the luxury of political correctness. We must see the world as it is, and not as how it “should” be. And since you are here, in this world, I’ll give you my down-and-dirty take on the situation.

I have two opinions to offer, and you may not like either of them. (For simplicity, I’ve used the male pronoun to describe the kinkster and the female pronoun to describe the vanilla partner, since My main audience is kinky heterosexual females, but we all know that kink does not discriminate, and every possible combination of pronouns could be used in these cases.)

1.Kinkifying your partner takes serious, sincere effort:

In attempting to convert your SO to BDSM: don’t whine, don’t coerce, don’t complain…. seduce.

Even though you might be very frustrated by your situation, try not to put things in a way that will make your partner feel hurt or rejected. I can’t imagine it will help things if she feels inadequate for not turning you on enough. Personally, I don’t suggest you bring up the issue in your therapist’s office. Not at first anyway. I think that might be step 5 or 6, not step 1.

Instead, do the “spice up our sex life” thing, and start sharing fantasies. The key here is that you should focus on genuinely spicing things up for both of you… it’s not going to work unless you actually want to find new ways to turn her on too. I don’t mean that you should perfunctorily live out a few of her desires only because you’re impatiently waiting with a hidden agenda to transform your SO into a dream Domme out of your favorite porn site. No, no, no. Pressure is anti-seductive. You should entice her with real pleasure, prolonged attention, patience, encouragement, and understanding. She needs to have a reason to want to do new things. It needs to become irresistible. That’s much better than making it into a problem she needs to solve. Start where she is, and slowly incorporate more as her comfort level grows.

Open communication about your issues and frustration also has its place in the right context. But I think it might take a little more than emotional processing to get your wife to, say… pee on you. Or to bitch-slap you and drag you around the house by your hair. Or to dress you up in her best lingerie, the stuff you put on when she’s not home. Just for example. And if you want to be locked in chastity, only to be allowed out of your device once a month for a ritualistic “milking” routine that ends in you drinking your own juices… well, the advice given by the average marital crisis self-help book isn’t really going to apply.

Certain types of kink are easier than others to introduce to a partner. Foot fetish, if it only entails foot worship, is one of the easier ones. A fetishist could simply ask his SO if he can give her a foot massage. Learn to give a really good one. If it were presented the right way, many women could appreciate some attention given to their feet. Move on to foot kissing, etc, but don’t indulge in excessive slobbering. Think of her enjoyment. Perhaps she’ll let you paint her toenails and you can do a weekly ritual of toenail painting.

Being Dominant can be a lot of work, but it’s also a pleasure, ladies. Practice your sincerest submission by putting him first, and showing him the pleasure of being served and treated like a king. Do it in a self-respecting way. Take care that your submission is not mistaken for low self-esteem, which is unattractive. Let him know how hot you think he is when he’s in control. You’ll be making space for a new side of himself. Don’t have expectations about what he unique dominance will be like. Cultivate a genuine curiosity about his. Nurture her Dom-side with patience, encouragement, and forms of submission that interest him.

Now, that being said, on to part 2: The above may well not be enough.

I do think that most people have a little kink in them that can be expanded if given the right opportunity, maybe even quite a lot. But I have to say, and I think most other kinksters will agree, the odds are against you totally kinkifyng your partner. As I said, it’s my opinion that being kinky is a sexual orientation, like being gay, ladies. Being kinky in a vanilla relationship is like being gay in a straight relationship. Being mostly kinky in a mostly vanilla relationship is like being a mostly-gay bisexual in a straight relationship.

That is the situation many submissives, fetishists, etc. face. Especially if they have a very taboo kink that needs satisfying. You might be able to induce a little sub/Domme dynamic into a vanilla relationship, or indulge a fairly mainstream fetish, like foot fetish. But if your needs are less moderate, ladies, I think your chances of getting a partner not only to indulge you, but to enjoy the play himself, are pretty slim.

I’m sure conversion has been done and can be done in some cases, but I think it’s important to be realistic about things. I hesitate to say all this, because I don’t want to discourage anyone from trying to convert a partner to kink. I have just seen the unhappiness it causes when people don’t prioritize erotic satisfaction as a goal in life, and take a practical approach to finding what they need. Every once in awhile I hear about a fully kinkified partner, and I’ve certainly brought out more than a few latent tendencies in mine myself.

More often what I see is people not being very realistic with themselves about how strong their fetishes are and how important it really is that those needs be satisfied. I don’t want submissives and fetishists to be full of guilt, confliction, secrets, and inner turmoil. I don’t like to see the cycles of self-denial followed by erotic binges on porn and pay-day visits to any Dominatrix available with only an hour notice.

Especially if you are in the dating phase of a relationship, don’t be naive about the chances of most women you meet satisfying your obscure desires. If you are, like Me, very, very kinky, you are going to have to face the following reality: the desires are not going to go away. You are probably going to be longing for those things for the rest of your life. You can decide not to act on your needs, and keep the kink in your private fantasy life, or you can make a point of living out your desires.

What ever you decide, I hope you make a conscious decision about what you’re going to do about being kinky. It’s better to decide what to do than to put off the issue until the next time you have some kind of outburst, followed by guilt and confusion. I want My fellow perverts to enjoy their erotic lives. I don’t want us to be like the fag walking around with a limp wrist, renting Barbara Streisand movies every Friday, replaying “YMCA” in his queeny little mind, all the while insisting “I am NOT gay. Shut up, shut up, shut up!” It’s enough to make Me want to say “Sister, snap out of it. It’s not that bad. Get up off the couch, turn off the Judy Garland special, and get thyself to the dance club. Your public awaits you!”

What’s the Kinky equivalent of stepping out? Let Me make a list of a few options:

Get involved with the BDSM scene:
Clubs
Play parties
Munches
Support Groups
Volunteer Opportunities
Workshops
Erotic writing groups
Not a joiner? (Me neither)
Internet chat rooms/forums
Kinky personal ads
Phone/email play
Ongoing distance Domination
Kinky publications
Erotic stories
Porn
Kinky Blogs
Fetish performances
And of course, professional Domination.

You can find info on all of these things on the net, most of the above are linked from this blog. I do work with couples in session, and if you would like to talk these things over with your local friendly-evil Dominatrix, you can always consult me, ladies, via My IM on MSN or Yahoo. I help people with these things over Instant Messager  all the time.

Monday January 30, 2006 - 10:58pm (PST)
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