How To Spank?


Spanking is a much more personal and intimate than other forms of discipline. There is nothing quite like the feel of your boy bent over your knee, bare ass arched upwards, quivering with a combination of fear and anticipation. For the bottom, too, it provides a very unique feeling - both physically and mentally.

Spanking evokes memories of corporal punishment many of us experience in childhood. For this reason, many spankees look for tops who fit the roles of Daddy, Mommy, coach, a big brother, Aunt or other authority figures.

Position & Posture
One of the factors that sets spanking apart from other forms of discipline is the deliberate and sometimes ceremonial positioning of the participants. While some spankings are haphazard, many prefer spankings that include the ritual of positioning.

Both the spankee and spanker adopt positions that facilitate and enhance the spanking. These positions generally work to the advantage of the spanker and the disadvantage of the spankee.

The spanker enjoys the following advantages from their position:

Comfort
Whether standing or sitting, the spanker is positioned to be comfortable throughout the spanking. They are able to swing their arm at a natural angle and able to sustain a lengthy spanking with ease because of their position.

Strength
Because they are able to wind up and freely swing their arm at a natural angle, the spanker is able to apply swats to the intended target with force. While standing, the spanker cannot only swing their arm but rotate their body to deliver maximum energy to an anxiously awaiting, clenching derriere.

Full Access
The spankee’s position is designed to fully expose their bottom and the spanker’s relative position is designed to put that bottom at a convenient angle and height. Therefore, the spanker is able to view, tweak, pat and spank it.

Safety
Because the spanker is in the position to easily spank the rear-end at the correct angle, it is much less likely that a blow will fall too high or too low.

Control
The spanker’s position gives them the “upper hand” and allows them to easily control the spankee. They sit or stand higher than the spankee and are easily able to restrain and situate the spankee.

The spankee realizes the following effects from their position:

Relative comfort
Except for the notable exception of their backside, Many think it’s important that the spankee be relatively comfortable so they can focus on the sensations being inflicted upon their posterior.

Anticipation
Bending over and getting into position to get your bottom blistered signals the beginning of the spanking and builds anticipation.

Increased sensation
A properly positioned bottom will tend to be spanked harder and more completely on the sensitive “sit spot.”

Humiliation
Being put over the knee is a childish, humiliating posture. Having to “assume the position” is humiliating in its submission and rubs in the fact that they are being spanked.

Exposure
A properly positioned bottom is fully exposed. The cheeks are fully presented and split, their undersides turned up. In the case of men, the anus and back of scrotum show. Women are even more exposed, their rectums and vulvas fully visible.

Emphasis on their bottom
Spanking positions place the center of attention on the bottom of the person being spanked, a fact not lost on said person. The bottom is emphasized by its exposure and upturned position relative to the spanker.

Presentation of their bottom
Not only is the bottom exposed and emphasized but the spankee feels they are willingly “sticking it out” and presenting it for its punishment in the same way that the condemned man must place his head on the chopping block. The spankee knows their bottom cannot evade or escape the swats.

Submission
Cooperatively getting into position to be spanked is the primary act of submission in spanking.

Safety
Although it may be of little solace, the spankee can take comfort in the fact that their position affords safety from injury. Of course, this can be disconcerting if they know they will be spanked with even more abandon.

Loss of control
Once positioned, the spankee has relinquished control and may not easily regain it until the spanking is done. They may have difficulty removing their rear from the line of fire if they try.

Inability to clench
When standing, one can clench their cheeks together, mitigating the sting of a swat and the exposure. When properly positioned, it is more difficult to clench cheeks and the spanking will be applied to a relaxed, bouncing bottom.

Excellent visual presentation
Speaking from the point of view of an admitted bottom fancier, there are few times that someone looks more adorable and beautiful than when he or she is positioned to be spanked. Not only is the bottom emphasized, but it is formed to a flattering shape and sexily perked out. Spanking positions would be sexy even to people not into spanking.

Specific Positions
Following are descriptions of various positions that many find erotic, their distinguishing characteristics, tactics that can be used to enhance them, and precautions to take. All descriptions assume a right-handed spanker.

Over the lap
The spanker sits with good posture in an armless chair, knees together. The person being spanked must lay face down across the spanker’s lap, with their head to the left and their feet to the right. They must be over the lap far enough so their bottom is conveniently located directly over the spanker’s right thigh. In order to preserve modesty, the person being spanked may be tempted to lie flat with their head up and legs straight out behind; however, if they are concerned for their modesty, they shouldn’t have gotten themselves spanked in the first place. The spankee’s head and shoulders should be angled down and their knees tucked down out of the way so that their bottom is well turned up. A palm pressed against the back of the head and swats to the thighs are helpful in positioning the spankee.

Knees should be at least six inches apart and the lower back should be “arched” or dipped to further turn up their rear. For a woman, this will result in her vulva being fully exposed and presented. Depending on size, toes will either be resting against the floor or hoisted off a few inches. The full weight of the spankee should be resting on the lap.

Hands can either be on the floor or grasping the legs of the chair. If the right hand flies back during spanking, it should be pinned to the lower back by the spanker’s left hand.

Prior to starting to spank, the spanker should firmly grasp the spankee’s waist above the right hip with the left hand to prevent squirming off the lap. Then the left elbow should be planted between the shoulder blades to keep the head and shoulders from bobbing up. The spanker should raise their right knee slightly, turning up the bottom further. In the case of a woman or man spanking a boy, she should make sure his penis is pressed firmly against her right thigh and aimed to the left.

By turning their upper body to the right, the spanker can get a fuller swing and more comfortably apply a stronger swat. By combining all of these tactics - the raised knee, the elbow in the back, the hand in the small of the back - the spanker can effectively pin the spankee down and spank the daylights out of them.

Over the knee
Similar to over-the-lap except the spankee is bent over the left knee with their legs restrained by the spanker’s right leg.

Hands on ankles
This is the classic school-style paddling position. The student must stand well clear of obstacles with feet shoulder width apart. Leaving knees straight and back straight, the student must bend over and grasp their ankles with both hands. The spanker may want to observe the student’s hands throughout the paddling to ensure they do not leave the ankles and earn extra swats.

The spanker stands facing the left side of the student. They should stand far enough away so the paddle barely overlaps past the right cheek. They should adjust fore and aft to ensure that both cheeks are struck at the same time (assuming a paddle is being used. Canes and straps warrant slightly forward positioning). It is not possible to more fully expose and present a rear end than when in this position. When one is told to bend over and grab their ankles, one is, in effect, being told, “we intend to thoroughly paddle your bottom. So not only will you present your rear-end but you will stretch and endeavor to stick it up and out as far as you absolutely positively can. And throughout the paddling, you will continue to strain to stick it out for the paddle.”

Since the angle between the legs and the upper body is well under 90 degrees, this position spreads the cheeks and exposes the rectum and genitals more than any other position. This is a great fantasy position, but manyI think it only works safely in reality for spankees with flexible bodies (especially when a thick paddle is used). Inflexible people can’t reach their ankles without bending their knees. Men run the risk of getting their testicles whacked. Non-fleshy butts get pulled tightly across the pelvic bones and don’t provide enough padding when a heavy paddle is used.

Hands on knees
is a safer, more workable position than hands-on-ankles. The bottom is presented in a plumper, more paddle-friendly shape but visually, the position is still very school-like. Depending on the person, I think this position can be more visually appealing because the back can be arched a bit which perks up the bottom. In fact, the further up the legs the hands are placed, the more the spankee can arch their back and stick out their rump. Again, feet should be shoulder width apart and hand positioning enforced. Because the back can be arched and bottom upturned, it should be required, both prior and during the paddling. A technique which tends to arch the back correctly is to require the student to look forward at a spot high on the wall. That way, they are required to pull their head up and arch their back.

Over the desk on tiptoes
Another school-like position. The student must bend over a desk with nose or chest pressed to the desk. Hands and arms should be placed on the desk over their head to further arch the back. To further elevate their bottoms to be spanked, they must raise up onto their toes. Penalty swats can be awarded for every incidence of a heel touching the floor (hint: watch after the “last” swat before the student is told they may relax).

Over a barstool or horse
This is probably the best position for paddling because the bottom is presented in a plump and relaxed manner. The person to be punished must lay their full weight across the stool, their feet hanging and hands grasping the legs of the stool at a level such that there is a little support for their upper body. This is a relaxed, comfortable position which works well for lengthy spankings.

Laying on bed
Another comfortable position for lengthy spankings and ensuing diversions. The spankee must lay face-down on a bed. Their face should be pressed to the mattress while their hips and bottom are elevated on pillows. Since pillows are compressible, it may take three or four to achieve the proper elevation.

Kneeling in chair
This is a favorite positions for spankees with great butts because, properly executed, it presents the rear in its most flattering light. The trick is in the execution. The spankee must kneel in the seat of a padded chair (save those knees for later) facing the back with the thighs vertical and upper body forward over the back. Again, the spankee should be required to arch the back well. Two things conspire to shape his or her bottom. First, the back of the chair prevents him or her from bending so far as to preclude a good back arch. Second, just as high heels shape calves fully by angling the foot to shorten and bulge the calf muscle, kneeling with the calves at right angles to the thighs seems to allow the buttocks to bulge fully.

Adjustment & readjustment
Most people think it’s important to deliberately position and adjust the spankee prior to the first swat. Emphasis should be placed on positioning and presenting the bottom fully. Throughout the spanking, the spankee should be readjusted as their position begins to fail.

Verbal instruction
Many folks think it’s best to require the spankee to willfully maintain their own position without the physical assistance of the spanker, especially in the case of stand-up paddlings. Therefore, verbal communication is necessary throughout the spanking to encourage the spankee to continue to assume the correct position.

Pickiness
One of the disciplinary aspects of spanking is that no matter how perfect the spankee is positioned, they can always improve, stick their bottom out a little further, etc. The spanker should not feel guilty that their exacting demands regarding position are perhaps a little too picky and unrealistic.

They’re the three little words millions of lonely hearts long to hear. Words that imply a great deal of mutual trust, caring, and comfort. Words that could change your love life forever …

You ladies saying, “Let’s do anal.”

Experts estimate one in four straight couples have had anal sex, arguably making it the most popular of sexual taboos. Yet while many people are at the very least curious enough to try it, few go about it the right way. The result? They have a negative experience, and never do it again.

In order to enjoy anal sex, couples need to have some idea of what they’re doing, and to be able to communicate with each other. Of course, talking frankly about a ding-dong in a yoo-hoo can be tough. “Our asses carry with them so much cultural baggage,” says Tristan Taormino, author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women. “Most of us are taught at a young age that our butts are dirty, that they shouldn’t be shared with others, that they are not a source of pleasure—all of which aren’t true.”

Despite that (or perhaps because of it), the idea of anal sex is often a turn-on. Men like the promise of tightness and friction, and both partners can appreciate the allure of unique physical sensations coupled with domination/submission. Think those qualities make it deviant?

Maybe so, but they also make it intensely intimate. As porn star Jenna Jameson wrote of anal sex in her 2004 autobiography, “I’ve only given that up to three men, all of whom I really loved. Doing it on camera would be compromising myself.”

There’s no “right” way to begin exploring, but it’s probably wise to start with something less ambitious than a penis. Richard and Lola* had been together for four months when he put his hand on her butt during sex. “I realized I really wanted to put my finger in her ass, but I was hesitant because we’d never done that before,” says Richard, a 34-year-old physicist in San Francisco. “Without a word, she grabbed my hand and put it there for me. It was amazing.”

Later, in the middle of particularly intense sex, an overzealous Richard aimed himself a bit too far south. He realized his mistake and pulled away, but Lola pulled him back. They proceeded to have first-time, undiscussed anal sex without lube—and loved it.

“I’ve since discovered that’s not a good way to do it,” says Lola, 32, a lawyer. “But that night I had the most powerful orgasm of my life. It’s one of the hottest things you can do, but you definitely have to be in the mood. Someone can’t just spring it on you.”

Outside of MTV shows and comedies, most people aren’t eager to talk about their butts—especially with their partners. But it doesn’t need to be a face-reddening experience. “If you and your partner speak openly and directly about sex, then be open and direct about your anal desires,” Taormino says. “If you’re unsure about how your partner may respond, bring it up in an indirect way.”

When you decide to try it out, go very slowly. Most couples agree that anal sex only works when both people are very turned on, so spend time building up to it doing whatever gets you going—oral sex, vaginal sex, watching old episodes of Hart to Hart. And remember what Mother told you: Anything you stick up a butt should be generously coated with a heavy water-based lube like Astroglide Gel or Maximus.

That can’t be stressed enough. Unlike the vagina and much like the internal combustion engine, the anus is not self-lubricating. Insufficiently lubed, you’re susceptible to tiny internal tears, which can cause pain and infection, and encourage the spread of STDs. But that doesn’t mean anal sex is inherently more dangerous. As long as you use a condom and there’s enough lube, you’ll be reasonably safe. To avoid nasty bacterial infections, remember that it’s like stroking a porcupine: You can go front to back, but never back to front.

Sex toys can augment the experience. Nonporous, easy-to-clean silicone is the best material for butt plugs, vibrators, or dildos; a flared base will prevent an awkward trip to the ER for, uh, extraction. “We started with a small butt plug we got online,” says Heather, a 38-year-old New York City nonprofit executive who convinced her husband—yes, he was the wary one—to try anal. “Then we moved on to sex, and it was totally unique. I have to do it in a place where no one else is around because I’m worried about people hearing me—I’m always a lot louder.”

No single position is ideal, but the receiver should be in control. Missionary works; woman-on-top lets her control the depth of penetration; and spooning allows the man a perfect angle. Doggie-style provides great G-spot stimulation, with the woman either on all fours or with her head on the bed and butt in the air (yogis call it “Foraging Anteater Pose”). To make sure the man doesn’t thrust too deep, he should enter, stop, and wait for her to get used to the feeling.
Or is it the other way around?
“The ass is the most democratic orifice—we all have one,” Taormino begins ominously. “What lots of men don’t realize is just how good it can feel for them, because the prostate gland can be directly stimulated. In fact, every man should get sodomized in the ass at least once before he dies.”

Maybe this isn’t an idea everyone is totally comfortable with, but turnabout is fair anal play.

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Who are you,LADIES, Domme or Sub?

Dominant (BDSM)
In human sexual behavior, a dominant is one who enjoys performing any of a variety of BDSM practices upon a submissive; or one who holds a dominant position within a relationship based upon dominance and submission (DS). This enjoyment can spring from a simple desire for dominance or an enjoyment of the interplay of wills involved in such a scenario. A male dominant is often called a dom; a female, a domme or dominatrix.

The main difference between a dominant and a top is that the dominant ostensibly does not follow instructions, although s/he is limited by what the submissive is willing to do.

There are some indications that preference in DS activities follows a ‘compensatory’ pattern, with people who have much power and responsibility in real life often preferring a submissive role; no hard scientific data to either confirm or reject this hypothesis seem to exist, however.

There are also indications that submissives substantially outnumber dominants, in both males and females. Professional dominants provide stimulatory services (which may or may not include sex) for those unable to find a compatible partner for this activity.

Submissive (BDSM)
In human sexual behavior, a submissive is one who enjoys having any of a variety of BDSM practices performed upon them by a “Dominant”; or one who holds a submissive position within a relationship based upon dominance and submission (Ds or D/s). This enjoyment can spring from a simple desire for submission or an enjoyment of the interplay of wills involved in such a scenario. A submissive is also referred to as a ’sub’, where the dominant in a D/s relationship is the ‘Dom.’

The main difference between a submissive and a bottom is that the submissive ostensibly does not give instructions, although s/he does set limits on what the Dominant can do.

There are also indications that submissives substantially outnumber Dominants[citation needed], in both males and females. Professional Dominants provide stimulatory services (which may or may not include sex) for those unable to find a compatible partner for this activity.

In many BDSM communities, there is a distinction between a submissive and a slave. In this context, a slave’s goal is surrender and obedience. In contrast, a submissive tends to expect some gratification in return for his or her submission.

Resource: Wikipedia